Coping with Divorce

The death of a marriage is always painful, even if you were the one to initiate the divorce. It's natural to grieve, even if the marriage was an unhappy one. You are losing more than a spouse; you are losing the stability and security you've relied on for so long, mourning the loss of your dreams and hopes for the future. It's necessary to grieve for your losses in order to finally be able to move on with your life. Express your pain and grief to a few family members or friends who will listen without judgment. Write it out in a journal. It may not help right away, but over time you'll be able to see your progress. The goal is to move on, freeing yourself from the past so you can enjoy your future. This process can take months, but if you find you are still grieving after a year, seek professional help or join a support group.

Make a list of all the things you need to accomplish, in order of priority, and start checking them off. This will help you to feel more in control of the situation. Inasmuch as possible, try to maintain your normal routine to minimize stress. Get enough sleep, eat healthy meals, start or maintain an exercise regimen. Pamper yourself in small ways. Go for a nature walk, read a good book, relax in a bubble bath. Whatever works for you.

Now is a good time to explore new interests and make new friends. Divorce isn't just an ending; it's also a new beginning. Try to have a positive mindset, and don't give in to the temptation to alleviate your pain with self-destructive coping mechanisms like alcohol, drug use, or promiscuity. These will only make you feel worse, just the opposite of what you are really needing.