How Do You Know If It Is Time For A Divorce?

Do you get counseling? What about the kids? How will your friends or family take it? All of these thought go through our minds when we are thinking about a divorce, and these are all good questions to ask yourself.

If you are constantly questioning yourself about your marriage, and getting divorce, then consider getting some counseling and try to give it your all for 1 year. You need to take your counseling serious if you want to salvage your relationship. Now if it does not work out, you can tell yourself that you can go on with a clear conscience and you are now ready to start over.

Staying together until the kids are grown and just sticking it out until then is not the answer either. You should stop and think about the current situation. The kids are being scathed by this whole process. Parents are the first ideal form of a relationship, and they are watching as it is destroyed. You really do more damage to the child’s psyche if you stay together and show them what it means to be in a false relationship. The child could grow up and think that what he/she saw in their parents was normal, so they do the same in their relationship. It creates a vicious cycle that will just spur divorce rates up even higher. If you do decide to get a divorce, be sure to make it an easy transition on the children. They do not enjoy it just as much, if not more, than you, so keep them in mind.

Obviously, the one time that you should be making the kids your main reason for leaving is if they are in danger. In this case there is no thinking about it at all. If there is any abuse going on at all, do not wait, now is the time to get out. You want to leave and go somewhere that you feel you will be safe. It does not matter if it is verbal, physical or emotional abuse, it is time to leave.

Staying because it is safe is not the answer either. If you are harboring anger from all the hurt and lies, it will just keep on festering inside. Even if you say that you forgive them for the lies and cheating, inside your hurt is still there. Once you make the break, both you and your spouse will be able to clean the slate and now you can start over.